it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
she looked like the before picture.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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