wrigley field is MILF paradise
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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