It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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