I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I think my moral compass just broke
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize