I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
