he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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