dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
