I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
