Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
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I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
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It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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