Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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