Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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