A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This gyro tastes like lonliness
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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