You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
