I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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