Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My vagina is officially offended.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize