Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
