You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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