Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
