Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
