So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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