Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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