I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
