Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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