Soap is not a condiment
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
