It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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