yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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