I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
there is puke in my bra ... again
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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