Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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