Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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