I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
my penis made a compromise with my morals
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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