Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
it hurts more in the daytime
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
