remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
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tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
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I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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