talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
high people should be assigned attendants
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
