I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
