Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Randomize
