my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize