this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
