I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
