hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
farters have to be the big spoon...
Welp...herpes.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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