Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
my being single is dangerous.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
