Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
