question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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