I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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