I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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