evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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