it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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