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Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
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