See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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