Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.

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(978): I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud. http://tfl.nu/nbnf

Replies (15) Good night (1522) Bad night (495)
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(512): View more from Texas

I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.

(1-512): View more from Texas

Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply

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(512): I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all. (1-512): Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply http://tfl.nu/mzzt

Replies (7) Good night (686) Bad night (1336)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.

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(402): Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you. http://tfl.nu/55t9

Replies (34) Good night (3360) Bad night (900)
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(847): View more from Illinois

my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.

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(847): my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news. http://tfl.nu/1uhd

Replies (97) Good night (1679) Bad night (10451)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments

(320): View more from Minnesota

You know how I know you're gay?

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(218): Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments (320): You know how I know you're gay? http://tfl.nu/13va

Replies (36) Good night (6830) Bad night (1028)
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(914): View more from New York

I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.

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(914): I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life. http://tfl.nu/ku4v

Replies (3) Good night (2485) Bad night (838)
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(416): View more from Toronto

Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.

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(416): Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing. http://tfl.nu/2fe4

Replies (18) Good night (2364) Bad night (2797)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land

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(508): whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land http://tfl.nu/kude

Replies (7) Good night (2720) Bad night (1570)
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(845): View more from New York

Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.

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(845): Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer. http://tfl.nu/vrnz

Replies (4) Good night (1792) Bad night (757)
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(914): View more from New York

Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought

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(914): Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought http://tfl.nu/0bwp

Replies (9) Good night (1377) Bad night (569)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.

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(814): I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before. http://tfl.nu/yjkb

Replies (2) Good night (1090) Bad night (395)
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(770): View more from Georgia

I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.

(1-770): View more from Georgia

You're a good friend.

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(770): I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that. (1-770): You're a good friend. http://tfl.nu/ln0z

Replies (2) Good night (1201) Bad night (350)
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(519): View more from Ontario

we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...

(226): View more from Ontario

did I at least say anything...

(519): View more from Ontario

you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living

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(519): we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom... (226): did I at least say anything... (519): you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living http://tfl.nu/vjjh

Replies (6) Good night (2046) Bad night (462)
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(925): View more from California

I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.

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(925): I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants. http://tfl.nu/rh3a

Replies (3) Good night (703) Bad night (245)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

it was a sexy soul patch.

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(336): You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH. (724): it was a sexy soul patch. http://tfl.nu/u7f5

Replies (2) Good night (352) Bad night (516)

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