Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.

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  (773): My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas. http://tfl.nu/zv1j
  Replies (1) Good night (743) Bad night (995)
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  (818): View more from California

  Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?

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  (818): Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me? http://tfl.nu/awe5
  Replies (45) Good night (2389) Bad night (1027)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.

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  (816): He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost. http://tfl.nu/3w08
  Replies (9) Good night (4140) Bad night (981)
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  (619): View more from California

  There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.

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  (619): There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back. http://tfl.nu/ap60
  Replies (27) Good night (6991) Bad night (1206)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.

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  (319): Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100. http://tfl.nu/5iyq
  Replies (12) Good night (2588) Bad night (1429)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.

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  (303): Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage. http://tfl.nu/kkp1
  Replies (9) Good night (4214) Bad night (851)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey

  (1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

  ugh yes i love our date nights

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  (814): i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey (1-814): ugh yes i love our date nights http://tfl.nu/d1p8
  Replies (4) Good night (3175) Bad night (849)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.

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  (515): trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point. http://tfl.nu/fff7
  Replies (19) Good night (2590) Bad night (1173)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.

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  (716): The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us. http://tfl.nu/j1ej
  Replies (11) Good night (2749) Bad night (712)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I have dibs on his crisis of faith.

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  (419): I have dibs on his crisis of faith. http://tfl.nu/qzr2
  Replies (1) Good night (969) Bad night (511)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.

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  (734): You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us. http://tfl.nu/gs5u
  Replies (4) Good night (1048) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.

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  (+61): I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis. http://tfl.nu/imc2
  Replies (7) Good night (1351) Bad night (502)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.

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  (937): I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies. http://tfl.nu/8j70
  Replies (2) Good night (435) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!

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  (501): When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out! http://tfl.nu/jsom
  Replies (2) Good night (651) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.

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  (815): Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on. http://tfl.nu/1k0i
  Replies (1) Good night (649) Bad night (328)

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