Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
