Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
