ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize