You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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