that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Randomize
