I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Randomize
