i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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