Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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