I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
